Retreating no more

So, I did it... i took a weekend for me... and me alone. I know that seems like a very boring, 'who cares' kind of thing, but it was a BIG DEAL for me... i've not ever, seriously, that i can think of, took a full weekend just for me to get away. as in... no phone, no internet, tv only if i chose to watch it, gotten away on purpose just for me to relax. No work, no church, no kids, no schedule, no events, no nothing... Now, before any of you who actually know me start to think i must have been drugged or bribed or maybe even kidnapped, yes, i did in fact do this for me. I did, also, miss the showing of a testimony video that I filmed for our church!! on my weekend! i left... however, it was not planned that way. For you who have read some of my posts lately or even just maybe know me personally, life has been a little heavy in the trauma and drama of it all and well - disconnecting, rest and detachment is what i have needed... and these indeed are what i did.

It was awesome to go to nature, a very similar spot to where i went to high school and where my mom still lives, in the hills and forest and trees and lakes and trails and... man... it was totally awesome. Andy and Brandy went with me, we got a cabin at Natchez State Park, a short distance past Jackson, TN. I was able to talk to Sonya on Saturday, from the top of a hill on the Pine Oak trail, Andy took a picture of me 'not disconnecting' but i will never miss the chance to talk with her! Its so exciting and encouraging to hear how her life is changing, from the inside out and what God is doing in her. It keeps giving me hope that i am not lost and i am not forgotten, even when i feel like all hope should or could be lost at times. It's just such an inspiration... it makes me get all fired up... I titled this blog 'retreating no more' because I am not running away any more. i'm not going to hide and wait patiently for others around me or things to start coming my way. I'm not going to sit back idly while my life passes me by. Over the past 6 months, i started a new position, of which i am officially leaving today, Monday the 2nd of February and this has TOTALLY been a time of rest for me. the position i had before it was supppppppppppeerrrrr hard-core and i was very very very worn out. i was physically and emotionally exhausted from the year and 1/2 i was in that role and i was just... pooped. so the job i had come to was such a relief. i was able to finally breathe, and i was also able to catch up on my life, as in outside of work. but in doing so, i got lazy in a lot of my other obligations. DR ended and i just fell out, pretty much. in general. so... all that to say this. Passive Aubrey exists no more. Time to get up and go-get-em... if you don't get out and get what God, Himself, is putting right in front of you, who will????

India, here we come.

Faithfulness, I'm yours.

Service is here.

I have caught my breath and ready to jump back in the race. We are all called to a race. I remember having a philosophical talk with some friends of mine, Christian, and we discussed why it is so important to not know the future... it's always said and we firmly believed that if God always showed you what He has called for your life, you'd never find it because you're always thinking... that cant be for me, i'm not good enough, I will never be able to handle that... i don't deserve to have God give this to me... and man... is that ever true. Even if you do not know what race you are called to, you better stay on the trail... you better stay fit and you better keep running.... because you just never know when you will get the baton. I'm not willing to stop.

So... 2 days, 3 nature walks, 969 pictures, 2 grilled cheeses and 1 fire later... i am home with some clarity and some fired up determination.

My family is tough, we are strong and Derek will come home safely, we are all sure of it. My step mom's dad is still in the hospital and may not come home so i'm still believing for her sanity. And i must away to bed so that i will keep mine. But... Happy Birthday to my mom, her birthday is Feb 1.

Good nite! and wish me luck with my new position! :)