Scrooge or not the Scrooge... That is the question.

It's so weird... I am actually getting into the Christmas spirit. Everything going on should be making me the Scrooge. But I'm actually thinking abt putting up my tree when I get hm Tuesday. I even bought more ornaments!!! Crazy, huh!!??!!

It's not a life that anyone would ask for, but it's the life God is blessing me with, and that is an optimistic outlook, a solid good hearted nature and hope. Hope that He will make the best of this life in His way and in His time. And with all going on, I know this is all for His will. And who am I to question the All-Mighty?

So I will keep on with what He provides and be blessed and try as hard as I can to do what He needs me to do. It's not an easy road He called for me but it is the road He chose for me and I have no doubt it's the best one.

So... Merry Christmas folks. Happy thanksgiving. Happy Hanukkah. Happy new year. Happy QuanzaChristmakah, whatev makes ur heart happy. :) I wish you a great Celebration of life, love and loved ones. And hope. Hope for you and yours.



- Posted using BlogPress from the Aubs iPhone

Where I've been...

I know it's been about a month since I've written a blog and I'm not sure if some of you wonder why. So, I thought this drive I'm on would be a good time to explain whats been happening.

The short of it, my dad is dying. In all transparency, he's an alcoholic and is trying to speed up his last few days I think. I'm currently sitting in the back seat of my gmas car as she drives me to his house so i can see what's left of him. I was told he looks nothing like who he was even 4 months ago, virtually unrecognizable. And I'm scared of what I'm to expect.

Were abt an hour outside Houston and ready I see oil wells, man I miss home.

I haven't known what to do abt this situation w my dad... Were not close and it's solely bc of his drinking. And even Now, as in the past, he pushes away anyone who wants to help him, he's mean to ppl and won't listen to anyone. He thinks he knows best, as he always has done that and almost always is wrong, when ppl are just trying to help this ungrateful unhappy man.

It's so hard for me to be sympathetic to someone who wont help himself and purposefully put himself in this situation. I do not want to help him. But the part in me that values family and considers 'will I regret this later?' makes me go out here to see him. He doesn't deserve it and I shouldn't spend time nor money on someone who doesn't care abt me really but he's my father. I have to. He won't be here much longer and I'm not going to have a regret abt this...

I don't talk much abt my personal life but... As Paul Harvey says, now you know the rest of the story.

I have a great family (other side of the family) as I have written about before, my grandma is the closest thing to a guardian angel that anyone could get to. Without her, I don't know where I'd be. And in the holiday time and this difficult time, I'm so thankful for her. She let's me deal in my own ways and is very non-judgmental.

Find something unexpected to be thankful for. We all have beautiful amazing things in our life that are due their appreciation so I encourage you to find the shiny specks around you, big and small, that keep you going. It's a grateful time to be alive.




- Posted using BlogPress from the Aubs iPhone