The Randomness of Random pt 25

25Inspiration has escaped me lately. I've been in a constant state of numbness. And I'm not sure when it will end.

Life keeps us busy. Both my girls have birthdays in December so this is a busy busy time for us. It's good, just BROKE! Ha!! But Santa is comin soon. We are in Houston. The time is bittersweet. I thought instead of writing about my time in Houston again I'd write about the things I have learned and what is worth note:
It's so important to focus on the good things in life. Why are you so darn critical of everyone and everything... ???
The 'you's' are proverbial.
If you have not family, what do you have? (family is not defined by blood either)
These are in no sequential order.
Sometimes.... You just gotta laugh.
I heart Mexican food, I've had it every day!
If you can't be comfortable w your fam, who CAN you be comfortable with?
Facebook isn't essential. :)
Make the most of what you have, even if others dont.
Just because you don't like me doesn't mean I Have to not like you.
If is not Abt what is behind you or what is in front of you... It's all abt the ride there.
I don't have to forgive what you did, but I do have to forgive you. (reminder to self)
Sometimes you just HAVE to let others help you... Ditch the pride ppl.
Your problem isn't necessarily my problem, but I will help you.
It's ok to not say ANYTHING... Sometimes.
Cherry coke zero is amazing.
There is nothing More perfect Than your baby only wanting you.
I'm not judged on YOUR opinion.
Rest is necessary.
Humor can only cover up so much.
My grandmother is an angel.

I'm sure there's more but there ya go. :)

Scrooge or not the Scrooge... That is the question.

It's so weird... I am actually getting into the Christmas spirit. Everything going on should be making me the Scrooge. But I'm actually thinking abt putting up my tree when I get hm Tuesday. I even bought more ornaments!!! Crazy, huh!!??!!

It's not a life that anyone would ask for, but it's the life God is blessing me with, and that is an optimistic outlook, a solid good hearted nature and hope. Hope that He will make the best of this life in His way and in His time. And with all going on, I know this is all for His will. And who am I to question the All-Mighty?

So I will keep on with what He provides and be blessed and try as hard as I can to do what He needs me to do. It's not an easy road He called for me but it is the road He chose for me and I have no doubt it's the best one.

So... Merry Christmas folks. Happy thanksgiving. Happy Hanukkah. Happy new year. Happy QuanzaChristmakah, whatev makes ur heart happy. :) I wish you a great Celebration of life, love and loved ones. And hope. Hope for you and yours.



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Where I've been...

I know it's been about a month since I've written a blog and I'm not sure if some of you wonder why. So, I thought this drive I'm on would be a good time to explain whats been happening.

The short of it, my dad is dying. In all transparency, he's an alcoholic and is trying to speed up his last few days I think. I'm currently sitting in the back seat of my gmas car as she drives me to his house so i can see what's left of him. I was told he looks nothing like who he was even 4 months ago, virtually unrecognizable. And I'm scared of what I'm to expect.

Were abt an hour outside Houston and ready I see oil wells, man I miss home.

I haven't known what to do abt this situation w my dad... Were not close and it's solely bc of his drinking. And even Now, as in the past, he pushes away anyone who wants to help him, he's mean to ppl and won't listen to anyone. He thinks he knows best, as he always has done that and almost always is wrong, when ppl are just trying to help this ungrateful unhappy man.

It's so hard for me to be sympathetic to someone who wont help himself and purposefully put himself in this situation. I do not want to help him. But the part in me that values family and considers 'will I regret this later?' makes me go out here to see him. He doesn't deserve it and I shouldn't spend time nor money on someone who doesn't care abt me really but he's my father. I have to. He won't be here much longer and I'm not going to have a regret abt this...

I don't talk much abt my personal life but... As Paul Harvey says, now you know the rest of the story.

I have a great family (other side of the family) as I have written about before, my grandma is the closest thing to a guardian angel that anyone could get to. Without her, I don't know where I'd be. And in the holiday time and this difficult time, I'm so thankful for her. She let's me deal in my own ways and is very non-judgmental.

Find something unexpected to be thankful for. We all have beautiful amazing things in our life that are due their appreciation so I encourage you to find the shiny specks around you, big and small, that keep you going. It's a grateful time to be alive.




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The Randomness of Random Pt 24

Every time i hear Pink Floyd's 'Wish You Were Here', oh how it evokes the deepest feelings that i think are buried deep down in the pit of my stomach that I won't see for a very very long time...

It makes me sad and nostalgic and just so uber openly contemplative. i get this sense of open mindedness, like i'm drifting, hovering, looking at my life from the big open perspective in the sky. it's almost a supernatural experience, but so not......

Anyhoo. I love this song. it's one of my all time favorite songs... EVER.

I have to say, as well.... It's so much better to have the big picture perspective of your life rather than a short termed tunnel vision setting. i feel... safer. I have a drive and ambition and persistance... It's amaznig secure to know that where i am now isn't where I'm gonna be. And it enables me to make better decisions. I thank God that He gave me the ability to look beyond the right now into the 'what will be'. I now need to get rid of the procrastination part of me and get to moving to that part of 'what will be'!!!! I'm so happy about the decisions I've made lately.

The Randomness of Random pt 23

This is just a reminder for all you who are passionate and thrive on self improvement...

Remember that when God tells you 'no' about something, it's not always a bad thing. I have to remember when I get that sense of rejection that it's not necessarily a personal thing... Sometimes it's God shielding us from unnecessary hurt, pain, trauma/drama, or something worse... Sometimes the 'no' is a protective maneuver from the Big Man above.

Don't take rejection personal. "It's not you, it's me..." Sometimes it really isn't you.... but then again... sometimes it is. Learn to discern the difference. Change those things about you that you don't like. Improve on the things you do. And Pray to know how to recognize the difference.

Much Love!!!

The Randomness of Random Pt. 22

why do we want what we want when we want it?
Do you ever ponder the mechanics of interestingness? What makes you interested in something and then, to go even further in it, what keeps you interested in something? Its like... fire. who's NOT interested in fire? We see fire and we stare at it most times, providing not a house fire and no lives are at stake, we could easily just stare into flames, into what it is, the colors, the embers.... then we like to play with it. we know it could hurt us if we let it... we know it can be dangerous, but we do it still the same, none the less, without even caring. but why? why are we so interested in something that can be dangerous and hurt us?

Do you see a great analogy here? do you see a correlation here to why we even go into a relationship, with anyone... with our friends. trusting our family. falling in love... why??? they're all dangerous, or present a possibility for it. they're all carrying a probability of being hurt in some way at some point in time. but we do it without question usually. why are we interested in developing relationship? why are we interested in certain ppl and not in others? why.... great questions you all ask...

In order to understand our own interestingness, you must in turn come to an understanding with yourself and be ok with the 'self realization' you will have when you discover the things you do and don't like. and you have to be OK with what you see... this self discovery is crucial to the understanding phase of why we do what we do and why we want what we want. do you know this is probably one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do.... Being honest with yourself and accepting that it's truth. But once you can do this, you can become the person you want to be. you can change what you don't like about yourself and you can be a happier person.

So... why do we like what we like? i find it usually comes to self preservation. why do i want it when i want it (usually now) because 'das how we roll....

The Randomness of Random pt 21

Have you ever considered Scrabble to be a great analogy for life!?

If you have a smart phone or friends with someone who does, you may have heard the buzz over the last year about words with friends, an Internet based scrabble game you can play with random ppl or your own friends. I started playing this game earlier in the year, as i do often try to delay jumping on band waggons 'just because' until i see the benefits and costs of each situation. After beginning to play, however, i found it does become addictive, mostly bc i can be somewhat competitive... (i must get that from my mom for sure... ;)

So, I def can hold my own in this game... i do have a knack in finding combination words and i wondered why am i good at this game? Does it have any correlation on the way i view life? bc, think about it... scrabble is in essence a game of chance, if you play your tiles right. it's all about taking what you have and making the best of it. sometimes you win. sometimes you lose, but it FOR SURE is all about how you play the game. If you don't try to find the bonus plays, by making multiple words, you won't succeed. if you don't ride out those double word or double letter or triple play tiles you won't win. its all about looking at the big picture, strategizing, getting the biggest bang for your buck and hoping and praying the opponent doesn't try to hit you when you're down.

who thought Scrabble could be such an amazing analogy for life!!!!
before you play, take a step back and consider, is there another avenue that is going to take me farther? and are there any bonus plays i can get to make my move more successful? it's amazing how far we can go here.....

Enjoy my beautiful people!!! PLAY SOME WORDS! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHANNAN (Right)!

The Randomness of Random pt 20

Is it always when you least expect things to happen that they do? So many things, good and bad, have happened lately and of course I’m not expecting them to happen at all! But alas they do… and it’s not always a bad deal. Sometimes the things you need are the thing that hurt the most… Like the song says from The Fray – All at once, ‘We’d never know what’s wrong without the pain. Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same…’

That song means so much to me in 1000 different ways… I’m so the least from perfect. I see that all the time. I am 100% not the best ever. But one thing I know from experience… anytime I let go of something I want so much but know I need the like a hole in the head… I get something so much more amazing and wonderful from it!!!!! God, it’s amazing… saying that to say… you have to be mature enuf and have enuf faith to know when you do the very things that you know you need to, whether it be from God or whatever you believe, the blessing you have awaiting yourself is going to knock your socks off, babe… truly blow your mind.

“Momma, I’m coming home!”

The Randomness of Random pt 19

Power is a privilege not to be abused. Have you ever sat back and considered in a logical/hypothetical way... What would i do if i could do anything... ? I thot abt that but abt what would anyone would do, today. I wondered abt this because we have so many rules now abt HIPPA now and privacy acts, that you have to be very discerning with employees these days bc most ppl, in Memphis, don't have firm morals or values. Most ppl will break laws or vows if it will benefit them in some microscopic way.... It's sad.

This did, however, led me to deeper insight... and I guess that's why Jesus was the only one able to be trusted w miraculous powers such as being all knowing and all controlling for this matter. Bc He wouldn't abuse the privilege, He's the only superhero that is infallible.

Deep thought....

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The Randomness of Random pt 18

If any of you had any idea how many random thoughts i come across in one day, it quite possibly might blow your mind.

Today, it hit me that one day, i quite possibly will lose my grandma one day. The lady that i have looked up to my entire life. The only person in my entire family that rarely fails me, that never stopped believing in me, that has supported me without question since the day i was known about.... just THINKING about if ever she isn't here made me develop tears while sitting in my desk at work. I know she doesn't want to read this but. i could never fathom a day that she doesn't know how much i love her....

I know there are so many of you out there with amazing families who are so tightly knit that you all live on the same block practically and do everything together and blah blah... but as the proverbial they says... to be loved by one person in your lifetime, you shall call yourself blessed. I am more than blessed....

AND... she's a Facebook pro and one hell of a poker player... how many of you have Meme's who can sit and have a drink with you and kick your butt in poker and take all your money!? (that's why i always ask her to borrow $5 before we play.... ;)

The Randomness of Random pt 17

Forgive me for the delay in posting... there are so many things that have happened over the summer that have and are changing my life. dramatically. It's been quite... exhausting.

So I know i've written about how much i drive and how i think when i drive and it's good time for me to rumble thru all the random thoughts in my head.... but one day i was driving (like a bat outta hades, as usual) and i saw an analogy about relationships with driving... how they're so similar. When you are driving there's a method to getting thru traffic. sometimes you can go in and get straight thru, no problem, no hold ups, you just zoom zoom zoom thru... everything falls into the right place and you break thru the crowd and you get on the road with nothing on either side of you. it's just there... you... alone... cruising! and those drives are great. no huge bumps, easy-peasy, but sometimes you have road blocks and big huge trucks in the way and you have to start using your head and thinking thru what you are going to do and plan ahead and work your magic to get thru it. And BE PATIENT!! (that's a 4 letter word for me...)

Just like anything that we do, you have to know how to act and you have to think about the things you do in order to get the desired outcomes you want.

Anticipate your next steps.
Stay on the road and keep yourself and other drivers safe.
Pass on the inside when you need to but be aware it can bite u big time in a curve.

My car.... :)

The randomness of random pt 16

What I wouldn't give to be a barfly on the wall sometimes. I understand some of my most interesting verbal conversations have happened in a restaurant or establishment of some sort... And it makes me think, as much as I live people watching.... Imagine the plethora of entertainment I could have if I was able to quietly observe while not being able to interrupt. I could learn soooooooo much abt ppl. I could see my friends in their most true forms. I could learn the most interesting facts abt ppl... It would be surreal.

But w great power comes great responsibility. I'd have to ask how much could I really take then... ? I already know so much abt my friends that I'm not sure I would be able to handle that level of knowledge of others, I fear it would skew my opinions... And I know it would for some of them...

I think I'll stay w what I got. Just being able to do this is actually enuf for right now. :)

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The randomness of random pt 15

"All human situations have their inconveniences. We feel those of the present but neither see nor feel those of the future; and hence we often make troublesome changes without amendment, and frequently for the worse." - Benjamin Franklin

I know it's been a month since I've posted. But this has GOT to be the most mortally frightening month I've ever had.

The theme for my weekend a month ago today was "party to forget mortality". Dealing w the fact my mom was looking face to face w cancer was devistating for me, as I realized later, and just not knowing if or what or anything was the hardest part. At least if u know for sure u can get a plan of attack. U can call in the troops and forge an attack on whatever ur dealin w and be done w it!!! Kick cancer's arse in a way it's never seen. But that weekend of not knowing what she had tore me up. And while we do not know for sure what it is now, her second opinion dr was very reassuring that if he thot it was cancer he would treat it asap. So. This last month I have kinda... Neutralized myself. I think for the week after that I was in a very dark place for abt 10 days straight. God just gently brought me back up. Lovingly I might add... And I was normal again. Till this week.

Why must must mortality beat on my door now? Why must I have it shoved in my face over again that I am not invincible. I know my faith keeps me plugged in saying "if it's my time, so be it." but man. Having to read up abt symptoms and causes an potential issues can totally kill ur spirit if u let it.

Remain focused on the fact God is the truth and has the final say. Diagnoses come and go and are wrong 1/2 the time. No one and no thing except what is real and true can replace it. All this speculation makes me so darn mad an scared at the same time. But I will again party to forget mortality this weekend.

Me and my peeps. :) Shannan n Bjarni. Amazing music fest weekend!



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The randomness of random pt 14

"The hardest thing in life to learn is which bridge to cross and which to burn" - David Russell

This is a random quote I found on google today. (which I love, btw...) but omg. How true is it!!??? And how perfect it is for my life right now!!! It's just so nice that God never ceases to amaze me. I love His gentle way of speaking to me and even His gentle way of knocking me in the head and getting me to turn around and reflect and be like wtc was I thinking!! Haha!! He teaches me and makes me see the big picture... It's rather comforting... That I can find this quote in a random place... And know it was there for me, to teach and show me just how much He actually is thinking of me! Awesome, huh!?

Anyhoo... So yeah. Which one to cross, which one to burn. I got a few that I need to just torch and sit back w a beer and watch them go up in smoke. And I got some I know I'm yet to find. I know I also have some that I even at this have no actual clue jus how big and huge and beautiful they really are yet!! It's so cool. And exciting. And profound. :)

I love my analysis. I love my kids. I love my friends. I love my life!!!!!

Peabody rooftop parties are totally the coolest thing ever!!!! I love them!!!! And I LOVE Q107.5 for hookin me up totally w VIP passes!!! Maney, Riley, Alexis and Brodee rule!!!!!!!!






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The randomness of random pt 13

So. I love to drive fast. I could totally have been a really awesome chick racecar driver!!! And maybe a cute one, too! I love to get on open stretches of road and just gas it and go sooooooo fast that I even get scared!! I just wanna drive, ... Open lanes... No limits... Just go till I can't go anymore!!!! I love driving!! Guess it's a good thing since I drive so much when I have the girls (1.5 hrs in the am and pm) but... I really do just love the need for speed!!! :) woot!!

Anyone else drive as much as me?????

Jilly!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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Seize the day: A life of why not?

I was in church a couple of weeks ago and the pastor was talking about 'what would you do if you had only one month to live' and that got me to thinking... A lot. And one of my day-dreamy thots centered around him covering the part abt needing to "Live a life of why not".

As we all know, this can be interupted in a good way and a not so good way. I'm going to skip for not the not so good way and focus on the good. So... Why not lead a life saying "why not" instead of trying to justify the "why"!??! You want to take your family on a trip... Why not. Want to go see your mom more... Why not? Want to buy your kids something ungodly expensive... Why not? Now of course your answer may be bc you physically cannot do it but that's another story. But... Wanna ride on a motorcycle... You want to open your heart to someone but are scared... WHY NOT!? You and your spouse want to have a baby... Why not?

Take some chances... Live 'dangerously' (yet safely). Have no regrets. Don't be saying in 10 years, I wish I would have blah blah blah... Or if I had that chance again... Take the chances now!! Live like there really might not be a tomorrow, according to the guidelines, morals, principles you so choose. But don't constrict yourself to a life of regret and disappointment because you think you can't or are not ready. You'll never be ready!!! Just do it!!! You will NOT have the chances and opprotunities later that you have now! Life will not wait around for you till you think-you-might-could-maybe-thinking-about-wanting-to-somehow-someday be ready!

Get to living!!! Get to loving!! Get to loving your life. God doesn't want to hear from you I wish I woulda _____...

Seize the day.

Here's a moment where I took my chances... In NOLA. Who dat!!??



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The randomness of random pt 12

If everyone is on a God-designed path for a specific purpose, and everyone is in the right place and right time for a reason that really only God knows, you ever wonder who the next person you're gonna meet is?

When I was a kid, totally believing this as I do now, I used to think that maybe one day, if I smile at someone in passing, just maybe I can help them by being nice, just with taking time to try to give them a moment of pleasantness, maybe I can impart a glimpse of peace and joy into their life by just taking the almost little to no effort of smiling. For just a second.... Maybe I was naive to think that could actually ever happen, maybe it actually did happen, but I never saw the point in not doing it... So it was a "why not" type-a-thing. What harm could I do? Right?

Well, I see, now, in my more realistic and jaded points of view how it can actually do more harm than good, but that's only w people who intend me harm and not good. But for the average-Joe, I think it really could work one day, not that I'll ever really know. But I have to believe that God really can and does use everything for good. And we really can change someone's life just by smiling at them especially when they least expect it. You don't know what kind of day they've had or what they're going thru. Who know's... You could just be the light at the end of the tunnel.

There's my impartation for the day! Take it for what it's worth. (which I think this is more than most.)

Just a picture than has a lot of meaning for me and is somewhat special in how I can affect another person.












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With this or that?

Have you ever wondered why things happen the certain way in which they do? Like... Knowing that God is all knowing and has a purpose for every little thing, don't you really wonder sometimes what exactly it is for? I have been wondering about some stuff lately... What's it all mean? What will happen with this or that? How does it all end?

I'm just... I could just be so excited or into things and of course I'm hesitant and reserved bc... You really don't ever know how you should feel, you don't know what will happen. People can totally fool you or bamboozle you with their intentions!! You never know what will happen with this or that.... And you just don't know if it's worth the risk.

Is it ever worth the risk... What do you choose... This or that...

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The randomness of random pt 11

Do any of you have a # that is just YOUR #. You may like it a whole bunch or it may just be your lucky # or it may just e one that you tend to see in a lot of places?

Since this is my 11th edition of "The Randomness of Random" I will honor it by telling you all that 11 is my #. It's kinda my 'thing'. You know, I don't care how saine you appear to be, EVERYONE has a bit of crazy in them somewhere. I guess this could be considered one of my qwerks. I see this # everywhere. All the time. In all different kids of places and it seems to have a lot of meaning, too.

I would tho be interested in knowing if anyone else out there has the same thing w #s. Feel free to share!!!

I'm attaching a pic from on of my good friends' performances... Enjoy!






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The randomness of random pt 10

Ever wonder what it is about water that makes people love being by it? What is it about the water that draws someone to it? That's irrestible... What's the facination or the pure love of the water? Where does th love and desire and facination come from? It's amazing the think about. It's overwhelming and can be an obsession.

I love the water, having grown up by it almost my whole life, different types and shapes and sizes... But sometimes I just wonder what it is that draws us to it so... I have lived by the ocean, a lake and now a river. Ive never been wout the water in my life, I just often wonder what it is that draws me to it so... Just like the next person.

Our pool.... Love these days!!





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The randomness of random pt 9

Why do dogs like people? Ever wonder where the innate sense of loyalty they have comes from? I just don't understand sometimes why they love ppl so much when we are so neglectful and mean sometimes. I mean, even I don't like myself sometimes, I often wonder why other ppl do too, much less a dog. But what did we do to them to make em love us so much?

Of course this can so be related and toed into our real lives, but I just gotta wonder. What makes us adore something that doesn't deserve it? And even still... What makes God love such unworthy people as ourselves?

Me with my girl, Jill :)






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The randomness of random pt 8

My random thot today is simply excitement!! :)

I've been feeling an overwhelming sense of excitement lately!! It's energizing and lifting, esp compared to how i've felt the last couple weeks... So this unknown reason of excitement makes me want to go out and play!! :) and play (hard) I will soon... But I have to wonder where this feeling comes from. While I know that feeling are fickle and you shouldn't make decisions solely based on ur feelings, one has to ask, how can I feel something so strong and not know why or what the source of the change in mood and demenor comes from?

When God speaks to us, supernaturally, this is often how it happens. It's like a thought or leading or vision that u get outta nowhere that hits u... Sometimes instantly... W/out warning. And that's what this has been like. And my hope (prayer) is that it all is a God ordained event that I'm moving onto the next big phase or challenge in my life, but you just gotta ask... God, is this it?

Also... I find it highly interesting that people can be so similar yet so different. And how you yourself can have such strong beliefs and/or convictions yet such contradicting feelings and tendancies. It's throughly intriguing. Bc we all know. You cannot be hot and cold at the same time. (unless in the physical sense you are sick) but... There's got to be some merit or just, Something to be said I suppose for someone who can empathize for more than one side of the fence.

Anyways. I guess with all the rabbit trails this truly was the randomness of random.

I'm sitting outside on this beautiful day, enjoying the amazing sun and pretty trees that are keeping me more than ill (allergies). But man, I just can't help myself. (contradicting again, huh? I really can't help myself, none more true for a metaphor)

The randomness of random pt 7

Softball season has only been going 5 days and already I've been at a ball field more than at home!

I remember playing ball as a kid. I played 1 and 2 bases. It was kinda boring when I was small and if course as u get older it gets more interesting. But I just wonder. What are they thinking abt while they're out there, standing around.. Playing in the dirt. Are they just thinking abt playing in the dirt? It's amazing the changes you make... I'm sitting in the dugout thinking about all these things on my mind and Emma's out there thinking about how much she loves to play in the dirt.... Aahhh. I'd say to be that age again... But I do not wish to be under 18 again at all. I'll gladly give my girls a great life in place of it. :)

The girls at the automatic slims.


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The randomness of random pt 6

So who doesn't like sports anyways?? I know that there are plenty of people who may not be the most avid of sports fans, but who can just really detest all sports? I went to an NBA game last nite. Had awesome seats! Had great company. And I had the best time ever! And I vaguely follow sports, much less basketball. I am just suprised when I hear someone say they hate all sports bc the game are just so much fun to see. Even say highschool football. I LOVE highschool football!!!! I loved the games, the excitement, the competition, the sweat and tears and all the rivalries! My Fridays were so much fun in school!!! What's not to like about that!? The bus rides to the game, the parties after, the anticipation of if youll get to walk off the field w your sweety. There was always something to look forward to. How do you not love it all! :)

Appropriately the pic is from the Mem/Hou game last nite. A win/win for me since I'm from Houston. :) but GO GRIZZ! (they lost) oh well.... Was soooooooooooooo cool being there. Had amazing seats! :)


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The randomness of random pt 5

I was really busy today!!! Hope you all had a great weekend and Happy Easter! :)

So... My thought today... Releasing things is sooooo nice! When something is weighing you down or burdening you or your spirit... Sometimes you need to just release something from your spirit to be over it, done with it, cut from it. It's a really healing act... It's freeing and engaging. It enables you to tackle the next big thing in your life! You're able. !!! You as in YOU are able!!!

I love moving on in life. I love new things. I love a new time in my life. And I love that it's now!!!

Today's pic: me and my brother, who I saw for the first time in March since he left to go to Iraq the 2nd time. Back safe and sound and OUT of the army! :)

My soilder:





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The randomness of random 4

Ever wonder why some animals prefer to eat crap/trash over something actually good for it?

You all know I love metaphors so....

I just have to wonder what is it about the piece of crap that is so appealing vs the good steak or whatever that is not actual reject-a-menta. Why do animals/ppl choose to put themselves around crap when they know there's something awesome there too? I just don't get it. Especially when it's a piece of crap that will hurt u. Make u sick or whatever. And you still choose to put urself in the situation where u eat it or are around it. I mean really!?? Logic should tell u if u touch fire once and it's burns that everytime it will do the same thing to you! Learn ppl!!!!

I think I should just take my own advice...

Picture from one of my walks. This was a thinking walk too... I should have listened to myself.

The randomness or random 3

Ever wonder where motivation comes from? Like... What is the driving force that causes u to do stuff? It's something that you cannot easily create. You can't pick and choose when u get motivated. You either are or your not. Really simple. It doesn't seem that with something like motivation that it should be as black and white but indeed it actually is.

Take when someone wants to lose weight. You can feel motivated for a bit. But u don't see results and you quit being motivated. Even though u know you should want to workout. Even though u know you NEED to bc it's good for you, alas you don't. Your desires, no matter how much you ought to feel a certain way come from an unknown driving force.

Motivation is sneaky too. It hits u when you least expect it. For things that u just never thought you'd ever desire. It's so crazy...

So anyways. That's the thought of the day. Where the heck does our motivation come from and how can I change it for the greater good of the world?

Happy Easter you all!!!! Pic from last Easter at the life church.





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The randomness of random part 2

Today's thought... If we could always get what we wanted, when we wanted it, how different would the world be.

Can you imagine how chaotic everything and everyone would be. The turmoil that would ensue. Or would it. Bc if we all had what we wanted, we would know no chaos? But how would we all get what we want if we all wanted the same thing... I guess this is the point on the show where I tell you that u cannot apply logic to unreasonableness (better known as illogical what-ifs)

It leads u to the place where you have to just sit back and rest on ur faith and trust God to bring you what u need at the moment He needs u to have it.

So many times the thought crosses my mind that all the waiting i'm doing. All the social sacrifices I'm making, all the Hurt I find in the shadows, that all of this could be in vain, for nothing, done for false majesty. But it's in those dark places that I remember the peace that surpasses all understanding. The hope that seems to come from thin air. The joy that knows no bounds. And that cannot be explained away or described in any other way than a true blessing. And that's when I remember the cause. The reason. The dream.

I can't always get what I want. But I choose to believe that there's a reason for everything!!! And I choose God.

Pic of Emma watching the fountain show at the Opry Mills hotel.






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The randomness of random

Seeing as how this blog is in fact a random thoughts blog... I've decided to make an effort to post some of my random thoughts.

Such as... What makes someone want to buy a specific car. Do u ever ask yourself did I buy this car bc of love or opprotunity? What a metaphor right!!?? I often wonder why ppl buy things they don't need/want. Why not wait for what u do want to come along. My car, for instance. I wanted my car for YEARS!! I wanted it and took my previous car to trade in but didn't. Anyhoo... I waited. I wanted to get what I want at the time that would be good to get it. Now... God obviously knew the greatest opprotunity would come when I totalled my last car, however He made the best opp for me at that time. I couldn't have what I wanted when I wanted it, but at the moment that everything else would be ready to receive it.

Gotta love the metaphoric content people...

Anyways. I spend SO much time in my car that I knew I had to get what I really wanted. And I did. And now, even w all the bad press Toyota is getting, I'm still so in love w my car. :)

Buy cars u love. That's my random thought of the day.

This was the view from my run last Friday nite. :) I heart living downtown.







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Streaming live from my phone!!

Did u know there's an app for that!!! And I have it!! :) I am now coming to you from my mobile phone!! I love apple and the iPhone!

Soooo... I don't know where to begin to catch you all up on this journey... It's been such a trying time and slow to complete, but, live is ever changing. The last 2 months being no exception. Let's see:
I've moved
I changed jobs (and companies)
Found a new church
I have a new phone
New furniture
New computer (iMac baby!!!)
New photoworkshop!!
New close friend
New friends, period, from work
New life...

Have no idea what the future holds, but it's been quite an experience. Moving was a sadddddd story with all the ice, but it got done. Still not fully unpacked, but I'm sure itll happen... Maybe. Ha!

Still trying... Still pushing... Still praying.


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