I'm Finding Myself... and i see the trend!

This week has been crazy... and good! I've finally been getting back into the swing of things.

Lots of stuff is coming to mind tho, that i really do have to be careful who i let into my life. People don't realize how significant the power of those you allow to speak into your life actually have over you! I thought i could handle it, handle things, handle my self, handle my life... but the key here: i thought I could do this... i can't do this... i can't handle my life. i can't handle my self. i can't control others, i can't control anything in my life. the only thing i can control is letting go of my life, myself, my control and letting God have His will over my life. There was a song sung today, "I give myself away... " I've said it before and I'll say it again... my life is not my own... I choose to lay myself down for my God. and I was never more happy to hear that song today. bc it renews my choice. it reminds me... that I do belong to someone. I do belong to the most important, greatest cause in the world! I belong to the most high, the most magnificent, the most spectacular being! I belong to the Most High God! and for that... i could not be more happy!!!! it's MY CHOICE! it's my decision. and i gladly lay my life down for His Will... ahhhh... it's coming back. i'm coming back. i'm finding myself!!!!!!!!!!! Ahhh... that's just it... i'm finding myself again. Finding why i have done what i've done. made the sacrifices that I've made. why i have wanted to become the person i'm becoming. why I choose to die to myself. aaahhhh... that's it!

i must become the person God has called me to be. because as we see... any time i veer off the course He has set for me, anytime i divert and take the beaten paths, i'm not happy. it's not fulfilling, it's not fruitful and I suffer in vain. for things that will not make me happy, for people who will only hurt me, for things that will only make me sad. it doesn't bring me joy. and what does... any time i follow God's will for my life. i see joy come into my life again. i see happiness on my face, i feel it in my heart. i see it in my soul and i find the fruit on my tree. any one else besides me see a trend!!??? wow... and i rejoice in this. i rejoice in it any time that I or anyone i know or hear about FINDS themself in Him... in the only One who can help them. amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!

woot!!!

Ok. so now. lets catch up. I'm going to Houston, my home town, for thanksgiving. I'm SO SO SO SO EXCITED! i've not been this excited to travel down there in a long time! and now... i'm stoked! i miss my family so much!!! Since we've been on facebook, we've been communicating so much the last couple of months. and i'm so happy that i will get to see them soon! it's great! i leave Tuesday and then fly back the following Tuesday. long trip down! but.. it's going to be awesome... can you tell... i'm SO EXCITED! woot!!

I went to Life Church today. it was so so so good to see my friends. I miss them so much... I got to see Buddy and Stacie this week! that was FAB-U-LOUS!!! woohoo! i love them like i love my family. they will always be part of my family. I hung with Andy and Brandy, another set of siblings, who lovingly take care of me when i'm down or when i'm sick. I'm truly blessed.... i mean... for reals... who else, when living uprooted from their family, has so many ppl that they can call when they need something. these are people who i know will lay down everything if i tell them i need them NOW. I hung with Jeff, i get to see Kirsti tomorrow... i went to lunch with some amazing people today! wow... i LOVE MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and my cousin is gonna have a baby ANY DAY! WOOOOOOOHOOOOOO!!! Scarlett will be here soon!

see... that's what i'm talkin about. i've waited forever to say this... i've waited many many days... and i do.. i LOVE my LIFE!!!! i'm putting in some pics i've taken of another AMAZING family i'm blessed to know. they're truly beautiful, inside and out. it's awesome... I have the privlidge of taking pictures of people... i LOVE THIS JOB! this is without a doubt God bringing me my heart's desire... agian... how blessed am i!!!!????

find the love in your life... and tell me about it!

if today was the last day...

My status update for today: what if today could be the day. today could be the best day. ever wonder if today was going to be the last day to have a day, to make someone ones day, to be in someones way...

i always hear that question "what if today was your last day..." and i've thought about it occasionally, what would i do if today was going to be my last day... what would i do? where would my loyalties lie, who would i want to see, spend my last moments with, where would i want to depart? i've thought, from time to time, do i want to be alone? I am honestly a very independant person and i DEFINITELY need my own space, but it's more and more apparent to me now, that i do also crave companionship. and why? i refuse to ever be dependant on another human being again, but... i do admit that dealing with 2 little girls all the time, having an adult around consistently is quite nice.

i have thought of so many good blogs lately, but haven't had time to write. i think this needs to change and stay changed.

so... lets catch up, shall we?

i've got paying gigs now for photography! woohoo! and i have to admit, i'm pretty inexpensive... but i LOVE it so much. it's more for my pleasure than for the cash... but it's a HUGE accomplishment!! :) i've got great subjects tho! ;)

went to Waco... i will write about that later. HUGELY AMAZING AND WONDERFUL TIME! i felt like a huge weight came off my shoulders when i came back.

work... sucks.

male species: hhmmm, try again.

haven't seen any good movies... but i want to! lots that i want to see!

Church... well... i think i'm gonna move.

ok. so... what if it was your last day and you knew it was your last day (doing whatever, being whatever, living whatever)... where would you go... what would you do... how would you finish it?