Been too long....

It's been so long since I have written about anything. Part of that is because even I didn't know what is going on in my life. And part is it's hard to write about.

The important thing here is that I and my family are happy, healthy and doing great. But I have had to make some rough decisions lately an even some that I really don't know why yet, I do know God is showing me very clearly what He needs from me and I am, in blind faith, obeying.
I know this step in my life is going to be physically alone, but spiritually healing, rewarding and freeing. I am going to find that next step in my life that will lead to freedom, hope and my calling that God has showed me He has for me. But this step I'm in now... It's pretty hard. It's tumultuous. This time is the hardest I've begun since my divorce.

But, on the good side, I've updated my resume, I've begun reading a new book, I'm purposing to have time with God and writing in a new journal regularly and I'm doing what I can to not seclude myself from those who God has put into my life to put me on His track again. That's probably the hardest part right know.
Derek did come home for a 2 week R&R visit and we got to see him, which was such a happy, happy time. And there's just no words for what time with him means to me. And seeing my family is HUGE. It's such a great time and when I don't get to see them regularly, it makes me mad that I can't be around them more. It makes me really max and hurt that they don't come here or make efforts to spend time with us, especially knowing I and the girls love them and enjoy them so much.

Part of this new phase: to acknowledge what I feel, know that those feelings are real, good - bad - indifferent, and not suppress them, to work thru them. Just because there's things that make u mad or hurt u doesn't mean u act like it's not real - face it. Deal with it. Figure it out and learn n move on! This is what God did. This is what he calls us to do. Us being successful in this is exactly how we help others. This is how we work to help God heal. Ppl are hurt and wounded. Let's help this world. Let's be there for ppl.


Will post pics later folks. :) there's some good ones!