The short of it, my dad is dying. In all transparency, he's an alcoholic and is trying to speed up his last few days I think. I'm currently sitting in the back seat of my gmas car as she drives me to his house so i can see what's left of him. I was told he looks nothing like who he was even 4 months ago, virtually unrecognizable. And I'm scared of what I'm to expect.
Were abt an hour outside Houston and ready I see oil wells, man I miss home.
I haven't known what to do abt this situation w my dad... Were not close and it's solely bc of his drinking. And even Now, as in the past, he pushes away anyone who wants to help him, he's mean to ppl and won't listen to anyone. He thinks he knows best, as he always has done that and almost always is wrong, when ppl are just trying to help this ungrateful unhappy man.
It's so hard for me to be sympathetic to someone who wont help himself and purposefully put himself in this situation. I do not want to help him. But the part in me that values family and considers 'will I regret this later?' makes me go out here to see him. He doesn't deserve it and I shouldn't spend time nor money on someone who doesn't care abt me really but he's my father. I have to. He won't be here much longer and I'm not going to have a regret abt this...
I don't talk much abt my personal life but... As Paul Harvey says, now you know the rest of the story.
I have a great family (other side of the family) as I have written about before, my grandma is the closest thing to a guardian angel that anyone could get to. Without her, I don't know where I'd be. And in the holiday time and this difficult time, I'm so thankful for her. She let's me deal in my own ways and is very non-judgmental.
Find something unexpected to be thankful for. We all have beautiful amazing things in our life that are due their appreciation so I encourage you to find the shiny specks around you, big and small, that keep you going. It's a grateful time to be alive.
- Posted using BlogPress from the Aubs iPhone
No comments:
Post a Comment