job...
boyfriend...
getting rid of dead weight...
Memphis Floods...
Dad...
I still put this one in the 'random' category because i don't know what i want to get off my chest, more. i am a hodge-podge of feelings... angry. sad. glad. happy. scared. confused. ambivalent. guarded..... so so so very guarded... and a bit of peace, only because God has given me that... Lord knows it's not because i am choosing it. hahaha!
tonight i'm more sad than anything.... I want things to so normal because i don't want to deal with someone giving me their condolences again and me start crying on cue. but the other part of me welcomes the well wishes of peace and graciousness because i am still so very sad... i feel like a stupid emotional girl who has no idea how she feels. and i guess to an extent that is true. but i always am able to figure out how i feel when i pull back and look at the big picture... but that's so hard to do right now.... so i'm just a stupid emotional girl. and i can barely even stand myself.
my grandma is amazingly wonderful. she tries to keep things normal. and i appreciate it.
I'll talk about more of this later. i still have to talk about how i got the new job!!!! wow... forever since i've written!!!! :S
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